Thursday, October 02, 2014

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Speed dating, online dating and meet ups have changed how we meet and engage in relationships. Tune in to TWC News every day this week for an in-depth look at Love in the 21st Century.

Once again, searching for a soul mate in a 21st century world

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CNY/NNY/S. Tier: Once again, searching for a soul mate in a 21st century world
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Watch part one of the "Love in the 21st Century" series.

The first time around, two women found ways the traditional ways. Now, looking for love again, they are using more modern techniques.

"We were married happily for three years, not so much for four years," said Kendra Vickers.

Similar to Vickers, Lynn Morgan got divorced, and with little luck in the traditional dating scene, they both decided to give online dating a chance.

"I found a couple of the men that I went out with still were not over their exes," Vickers said.

"A lot of times people will start dating when they have not worked out of their old issues, so you will hear a lot of talk about the Ex or a lot of anger will come forth and that is a sign," said Kerry Murray-Pertchik, a clinical psychologist.

Those signs may very well mean you are their rebound and because the next prospect is just a click away, rejection is frequent and not always easy.

"If I had a disappointment or I was waiting for him to call and he didn't, you know what, it wasn't meant to be," Vickers said.

"You have to get good at feeling that rejection that sometimes there is a date that you feel like went really well and then you don't hear from this person again," Murray-Pertchik said.

Falling too fast for fiction may get your hurt.

"Yeah I think I have really feel something for this person even though I've never met him," Morgan said.

"Just because it is on there does not mean that it is accurate. Always be leery if something sounds too good to be true, check it out," Murray-Pertchik said.

And don't wait too long before that first date, face-to-face communication can give you a sense of whether that person has got some issues or carrying baggage from the past.

"Everybody is going to have issues in the past, but if it appears as though there is a whole lot of unresolved emotions and anger, most likely that person is not ready to take on a new relationship."

It took Vickers just 30 days to find her mate.

"We've been married three years as of May 14," she said.

For Morgan, her journey continues.

"I don't need to marry, but I do want a soul mate, just one soul mate," Morgan said.

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